My other grandmother, with my father on the right.

Creativity and the Race Against Time

From Christian Marclay’s “The Clock.” Source: New York Times

I always envied artists able to sketch on trains or while waiting at a restaurant. Creating is more hard-earned for me. It takes time to gear up beforehand, to settle into it, and finally get into a groove. A whole day of  this process and I may be in that “zone” for two or three hours.

Likewise, I knew that a three-week trip home to the United States on a recent visit would mean losing at least a month. There was the week beforehand, with all the preparations, cleaning, and packing. Then, when I got home, I had to readjust from the jet lag, play catch up, and finally get back into my routine. So much time gone.

I would not trade it, though. I went home to attend my grandmother’s funeral. Her passing brought together a scattered family that has suffered a good deal of loss and tragedy over time. I believe this was her final act of grace. We remembered and celebrated her life.

And then we decided to scan all the old slides!

Looking at all these old pictures got me thinking about the nature of time and how it speeds by and slows down simultaneously. The years seem to hurry by when we look back at them, but important moments and events stand still in our minds, somehow both immune to time and eroded by it. I feel connected to the past through older relatives. Often, I imagine the chronology of my own life mirroring theirs. I look at a picture of my mother or my grandmother at about my age and take note of the differences in our lives.

Mom, 1969, with her favorite coffee mug. (She's much younger that I am now)

My mom, in 1969, with her favorite coffee mug. (She’s much younger that I am now)

My mom, in her thirties.

Mom in her thirties. I remember that shirt and her sunglasses.

My grandparents, exactly as I remember them.

My grandparents, exactly as I remember them. They were once much younger than this, though I only know it from pictures.

My other grandmother, with my father on the right.

My other grandmother, the artist, with my father on the right.

My life runs on at least three temporal tracks. Week-to-week, there are errands to run, tasks to perform, a calendar of busywork. That is one measure of time. On another track, time is measured by love. Will I ever get enough time with the people I love? The third track is the time I spend in solitude, painting, writing, and considering art. On this track, the hours yawn before me and then seem to compress suddenly, snapping like a rubber band stretched too far. On a bad day, the hours are like the beads of a broken necklace tumbling across the floor. Will I ever get enough time to paint?

A month lost when it comes to painting and creating, but gained in terms of time spent with loved ones…

Whatever form time takes, there is never enough of it.

Me, in about 1983.

1983

Striped Croissant, Gouache on Paper, 8 x 5 7/8 inches

Honoring Our Daily Bread

Röggenbrotchen, Gouache on Paper, 6 5/8 x 4 3/4

Röggenbrotchen, Gouache on Paper, 6 5/8 x 4 3/4

It seems to me the faster the world gets, the more we need to take time to be slow and mindful. We race through our days, constantly reviewing our past actions while projecting ourselves into the future, making plans and to-do lists. What we really need is to settle into the present moment like a pinball coming to rest.

When I first started my bakery series, I thought it was just for fun. The more little paintings I finish, however, the more I realize making these paintings has become a meditation practice about sustenance. When we’re busy, we scarf down food without thinking. We don’t think about where it came from or who made it. If we bought it on a street corner or it came out of the freezer at the supermarket, we are about as disconnected as possible from the process. Even eating at a gourmet restaurant – while you may slow down and enjoy the flavors – does not get you any closer to understanding your food and how it got there.

And yet, we all know in the backs of our minds that process is staggering. Energy from the sun, 92 million miles away, reaches our planet where plants convert it into food. This food is harvested and distributed through our agricultural industry, worth $100 billion a year. Then the food is further processed into a form that no longer reminds us of where it came from. It retains no hint of the sun beating down on fields, the smell of dirt, or the feeling or sounds of rustling leaves… Incidentally, I love to buy lettuce just because it often smells like earth.

There are so many sayings in English referring to bread and its role as life-giving nourishment. We beseech God to “give us this day our daily bread.” If we are the “breadwinner” of our household, our families depend on us to survive. If a job is the only thing standing between us and impoverishment, we call it our “bread-and-butter.” In Christian belief, bread quite literally is the symbol of everlasting life and salvation.

When we look at it that way, it doesn’t seem possible that bread could be regarded in a negative light at all. However, Americans, with more food-related illnesses and health concerns than ever,  have become largely suspicious of carbohydrates, bread included. The very thing that has nourished humans for eight thousand years has been regarded in modern times as the enemy.

I have another suggestion.

Next time you eat, try this meditation and you don’t have to be a painter to do this… Look at your food. Really look at it. Notice its color and texture. Notice its smell. Imagine where it first began its journey to your plate. Think of the sun, the rain, the soil. Imagine it being transported in a truck and turned into food as you know it. This is where it gets tricky. How many of us really know what happens then? Even how flour is made from wheat in our present day? But at least try to fill in those blanks in the journey of how your food got to your plate. And then, take a bite. Don’t think about anything else. Just be in the present moment, eating your food. For a moment just focus on the taste and the feeling of it in your mouth. After you chew and swallow, think about how it will be broken down in your body to eventually become part of you and all you do.

This is what I think about now when I taste and chew bread. And I think about much more…

It seems to me that connection to our food is fundamental to being connected to God (however you might understand what or who God is). So, while it might seem at first glance trite to paint pictures of bread, these past months of doing these little paintings has invited me into a very slow mindfulness about the food we eat and where it comes from. Even though the bread smells delicious, I don’t eat it but remain seated, observing it in all its aspects, its materiality, color, and texture. I ponder the chemical process that makes bread rise, solidify, and take on a hard, crackly crust.

I try to achieve a Trompe L’oeil quality with these works, which takes a long time. It is unbroken time because I want the bread to stay fresh. It won’t keep… it comes from a bakery that makes daily bread, not bread pumped with preservatives and shipped thousands of miles to sit on shelves weeks later. It is an unbroken tradition in Germany to have a bakery in every little town. Yet, I’ve learned that even here, more and more bakeries rely on a central plant to supply their daily offerings. Not many can afford to bake their own bread anymore.

I’m told in German baking a certain process is used to create dark and light “stripes” by dipping the bread — in this case a croissant – in a lye (sodium hydroxide) solution. This is the same thing that gives pretzels their dark color and, in the case of rolls and croissants, it results in beautiful stripes as the bread expands while baking.

Striped Croissant, Gouache on Paper, 8 x 5 7/8 inches

Striped Croissant, Gouache on Paper, 8 x 5 7/8 inches

I can’t tell you how a kaiser roll gets its pin wheel shape. Perhaps I should look into it…

Kaiser Roll, Gouache on Paper, 8 x 5 7/8 inches

Kaiser Roll, Gouache on Paper, 8 x 5 7/8 inches

Röggenbrotchen rolls are clearly whole grain. Dusted with whole wheat flour, they have a wonderful grainy texture outside, but are soft and chewy inside.

Röggenbrotchen, Gouache on Paper, 6 5/8 x 4 3/4

Röggenbrotchen, Gouache on Paper, 6 5/8 x 4 3/4

Hope you enjoyed this little tour of German bread and my thoughts on it alongside some new paintings. I did not know this aspect of German culture would so captivate me when we moved here last year, but here we are. I feel like I’ve embarked on a journey simultaneously cultural, historical, geographical, and spiritual. And, with perhaps hundreds of varieties that vary from region to region, this journey might be quite a long and involved one.

To see all of my bread and sweets paintings, visit my website here.

Ruhende_Pferde

The Bavarian Alps and the Franz Marc Museum

I haven’t been in the studio much for the past week, but that’s okay. I was down in Garmisch-Partenkirchen taking in breathtaking views of the German Alps. Even though the weather has been cloudy, snowy, and otherwise gloomy for months here, we nevertheless had one bright, crisp day.

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IMG_1567

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Yes, I know. It almost feels like Julie Andrews is about to come running and singing through the town square. It would be cheesy if it wasn’t just so awesome! And the food was pretty great, too!

Anyway, on the day that we had pretty poor weather, we decided to forego our trip up the Zugspitz (highest peak in Germany) and went to the Franz Marc Museum instead.

Cold and gray. Great day to go to a museum!

Cold and gray. Great day to go to a museum!

I’ve loved Franz Marc’s work since I saw this painting at the Phillips Collection in Washington D.C.

Deer in the Forest I, 1913, Oil on Canvas (Source: Phillips Collection)

I love this painting because it is simultaneously still and dynamic, soothing and colorful. For me, Marc’s paintings of animals offer a retreat from the world of people without becoming saccharine. He saves his images from sentimentality by pursuing a higher spiritual purpose in his art. Unfortunately, Marc was killed in The Great War only about three years after he began to develop this style. Even though the museum’s collection was limited, it showed the evolution of his work from experiments in Impressionism and Fauvism, to his own unique blend of Cubism and Futurist elements. Though his career was cut short, his work influenced a whole generation of German Expressionists who followed him.

Marc painted all kinds of animals, but he seemed most in love with horses and painted them repeatedly, in different styles.

Small Horse Study, 1909, Oil on Canvas (Source: Wikimedia)

Jumping Horse, 1912, Oil on Canvas (Source: Franz Marc Museum)

I’ve been dabbling with printmaking lately, so I was excited the museum was holding a special exhibit of Marc’s prints. Here are some of my favorites. All of them happen to be horses, too:

Resting Horses, 1911, Woodcut (Source: Wikimedia)

Horse and Hedgehog, Unknown Date, Woodcut (Soure: Wikimedia)

Riding School According to Ridinger, Unknown Date, Woodcut

After I came home from my trip, I read more about Marc and learned that after he was conscripted into the German military during World War I, he spent time making camouflage covers for artillery. It was the first war in which camouflage came into wide use and artists on both sides were pioneers in its development. Marc created his hand-painted versions using pointilism and techniques borrowed from Wassily Kandinsky and Claude Monet. Sadly, Marc’s life ended on March 14, 1916 when he was struck by a shell at the Battle of Verdun.

Before his conscription, Marc created his most well-known and stunning work, Tierschicksale (The Fate of Animals). He later wrote to his wife during the war saying the painting was ” like a premonition of this war—horrible and shattering. I can hardly conceive that I painted it.”

The Fate of Animals, 1913, Oil on Canvas (Source: Wikimedia)

Sources: Wikipedia, Franz Marc Museum

Chocolate Cupcake

More **Sweet** Paintings

I’ve finished two more pieces in this group I’ve started calling my “Sweets” series. I have another two on the way, making this one of the most cohesive series I’ve yet undertaken. I’m making these paintings for the sheer, delicious  pleasure of it. And yet, they are not without great challenges.

Take this cream soda can.

Cream Soda Can, Acrylic on Wood Panel, 10 x 10 inches

Cream Soda Can, Acrylic on Wood Panel, 10 x 10 inches

I crushed it a little bit before I began painting to increase both the interest and complexity of the image. With several dents, it was very sensitive to the changing light. I once heard said of Janet Fish that her paintings would change throughout the day as the light changed, so that no image represents a moment in time (as would happen if you took a photograph). All hours of the day and the light are represented in the painting, which exists as one single image.

That is something I really love about painting.

Painters, really, are in the business of misrepresentation and deception. An image may have a true feeling of realism – it may feel more real than reality but it is, in fact, an illusion.

So it is with this piece. Different parts of the can preserve the impression of light at various times of day and varying degrees of cloudiness. The maddening thing for the painter is making it all work together in the end. I love that moment when it all starts to gel:

In Progress.

In Progress.

And here is another new painting:

Chocolate Cupcake, Acrylic on Gessoed Masonite, 6 x 6 inches

Chocolate Cupcake, Acrylic on Gessoed Masonite, 6 x 6 inches

For this piece, I wanted to create a shimmering pastel background with very soft shapes. It took several layers of paint and adjustment before I achieved this look.

To give my dear readers an idea of the process of working with acrylic, here is another doughnut painting in progress (on the right). It is at a pretty ugly stage. every area of the image usually has to be built up a few times before I get my end result, which you can see in the painting on the left.

A finished doughnut painting alongside one that's about a third finished.

A finished doughnut painting alongside one that’s about a third finished.

And there is one more challenge I face in the studio. It’s making sure this little firecracker gets all the attention she thinks she deserves (humph!):

Sophie likes to jump right into my lap when I'm painting sometimes... without any warning.

Sophie likes to jump right into my lap when I’m painting sometimes… without any warning.

That’s all for now. You can check out these paintings and more in my Etsy shop!

Picture 4

Treasury Blitz!

I participated in a treasury blitz this weekend coordinated by the Minimalist Team and the Tea Time Team. I think it was a great success! It was a little challenging to come up with three treasuries in one day, but I was pretty happy with the results.

Here is one of mine:

‘Favorite Things’ by HeatherMcCawArt


Americana Photography, …

$18.00

Autumn Beauty Under 40 …

$39.00

Mon Petit Notebook in B…

$16.00

Owl family of three in …

$75.00

Summer Sale Dancing Dre…

$99.99

Mid Century Modern Cand…

$17.50

green silver earrings -…

$7.00

Diner Painting, Origina…

$50.00

serving dishes hors d&#…

$24.00

Pearl friendship bracel…

$20.00

Fish Dancing Alone – Mo…

$10.00

Vintage clock 80s white…

$49.80

Vintage PEACH Dog Booke…

$21.00

1970′s french wallp…

$32.00

Aqua Mid Century Bowl P…

$26.00

Black vintage fan, emer…

$99.50

Treasury tool supported by the dog house

And here are some of my favorite treasuries featuring my own work:

‘These sunny days!’ by cknine


Crocheted cap hat with …

$35.00

Antique Pitcher Jug Por…

$28.00

purple silver earrings …

$15.00

Floating red and white …

$36.00

serving dishes hors d&#…

$24.00

Set of 2 Bracelets / ba…

$40.00

Pink Cupcake Painting, …

$85.00

Mini Clothespin Magnets…

$8.00

Vintage creamy yellow r…

$61.00

Glass flower 3D suncatc…

$35.00

Any Occasion Card – Mix…

$4.00

Harvest Gold Yellow Ora…

$22.00

SALE 20% // Small ceram…

$30.00

Exfoliating Organic Cla…

$18.00

The Nutcracker prince m…

$22.90

Pink Shoes / Bruno Magl…

$42.00

Treasury tool supported by the dog house

‘Spring Lines’ by cattleyadesigns


Hair Stick Wooden Hair …

$37.00

Small Original Painting…

$125.00

FREE SHIPPING Long croc…

$169.00

Statement Bamboo, Rose …

$17.00

Marimekko fabric / choc…

$42.00

Black and White fine ar…

$45.00

Red Minnie hair bow / H…

$6.00

Modern Geometric Neckla…

$23.90

Pippi’s Black Grey …

$43.00

bracelet ARROW

$66.00

A-Frame Shelf in Opera …

$200.00

Handprinted lumbar pill…

$62.00

Crochet Crinkle Flower …

$14.00

Envelope Clutch Purse V…

$35.00

STRIPES. Knee Length Sh…

$28.00

Dude, Where Are My Keys…

$48.00

Treasury tool supported by the dog house

‘extensive are my travels’ by hadleyclay


Vintage Sugar Creamer C…

$36.00

Vintage Tiger Figurine …

$55.00

Bird on a Wire, Origina…

$80.00

Yellow felted crocheted…

$20.00

Mint Orange Wrap Bracel…

$19.00

Knitting Fingerless Glo…

$25.00

Pendant, Deer Antler, G…

$36.00

Happy Family Ceramic Pl…

$15.00

Crocheted Baby Toy for …

$60.00

Turquoise beaded hoops …

$40.00

serving dishes hors d&#…

$24.00

Glass of milk in turquo…

$36.00

butter yellow latte mug…

$46.00

Mid Century Modern Plat…

$15.00

100% Mercerized Cotton …

$33.00

Fawn – Children Floral …

$15.00

Treasury tool supported by the dog house

Cupcake_Cropped

About a Cupcake

There isn’t that much to tell, really. I just saw this cupcake in the bakery, took it home, and then took it on a journey through various mediums.

First I sketched it:

Cupcake_Drawing

A little worse for wear after I retraced it and taped it twice.

Then I created a linocut. Sidenote: this is my first linocut since I took printmaking in college so long ago. For anyone who doesn’t know, linocut is a printmaking technique related to woodcuts. Instead of wood, you carve into a sheet of linoleum.

Linocut is so much fun! Especially with such a delicious subject.

I had forgotten how much fun linocuts can be. Especially with such a delicious subject!

Instant gratification! At least with the help of a printmaker friend of mine who has all the equipment. You can check out her shop and her brilliant work here.

Cupcake, Linocut, 4 x 4 inches.

Cupcake, Linocut, 4 x 4 inches.

Of course, I do a lot of realism and lately I’ve been on a realism kick, painting doughnuts and so on. It’s nice to use a technique which forces me to think about line and the bigger picture. There is a rough-hewn, endearing quality to linocut I just love.

After loosening up with these techniques, I finally sat down to paint the cupcake, doing what I do best:

Cupcake with Pink Icing, Acrylic on Gessoed Panel, 6 x 6 inches

Cupcake with Pink Icing, Acrylic on Gessoed Panel, 6 x 6 inches

For something a little different, the ground is slightly abstract, featuring loose swipes of light pink, blue, and yellow.

Check it out here in my Etsy shop. When I get an edition printed of the linocut version, that will be up in my shop, too!

See more of my lovingly painted baked goods in my last blog post.

White Doughnut with Sprinkles, Acrylic on Panel, 8 x 8 inches

This Doughnut Has No Calories. I Promise.

Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! I’m back this week with a dose of realism. This time, I’m painting delectable baked goods with a high degree of detail. And, by the way, you can check out these paintings in my Etsy shop here and here.

I have to confess, I’ve been wanting to paint doughnuts for a while… and cakes, pies, cream puffs, and so on and so forth. I hesitated for two reasons. One, it has been done before (the kiss of death for many artistic ideas) and, two, these things are decadent, indulgent, carrying little meaning. Unless, I suppose, we look at them as symbols of our society’s downfall, what with the obesity epidemic and everything.

I have written before, however, about how inspired I was to paint all the bread I found at our local bakeries here in Germany. And so I did.

Shokobrötchen, Gouache on Paper, 12 x 17 cm.

Shokobrötchen, Gouache on Paper, 12 x 17 cm.

The thing about painting with realism is that the act becomes more about looking and less about conveying a concept. Inevitably, though, I always find myself thinking about the object itself, the hands that made it, its uniqueness, and the feelings it evokes in the viewer. I really appreciate the Old World preservation of the local bakery and its ages-old commitment to provide daily fresh, baked goods. So that is partly what I meditate on as I complete these small works.

But mostly, I’d say looking at doughnuts just makes me feel happy and sometimes I think it is important to simply please yourself.

Heather McCaw Kerley

Almost finished!

Doughnut with White-Striped Chocolate Icing, Acrylic on Panel, 8 x 8 in.

Doughnut with White-Striped Chocolate Icing, Acrylic on Panel, 8 x 8 in.

White Doughnut with Sprinkles, Acrylic on Panel, 8 x 8 inches

White Doughnut with Sprinkles, Acrylic on Panel, 8 x 8 inches

White doughnut in progress... Just starting to paint in pink sprinkles.

White doughnut in progress… Just starting to paint in pink sprinkles.